She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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