I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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