i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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