Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
