i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
