Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize