smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
