I feel like abortions should bother me more
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
