Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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