sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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