She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize