I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
