ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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