what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize