Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Even the bartender felt bad for me
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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