what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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