Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
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