people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
