I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
did you just send me my own nude
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize