I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
