At least make sure they are 18
Why
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
