so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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