Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
