Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
