I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize