Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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