It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
