Girls should come with a carfax report
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
