Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
