I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
