I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
