I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
