plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
