went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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