the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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