I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
