That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
