the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
