Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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