Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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