windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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