When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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