wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
