We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
