Don't you send me to vm
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
