My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
