Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
