We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
