A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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