problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
