he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
