I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize