But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
ugly people sure do ruin things
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Randomize
