youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
