weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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