The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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