Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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