I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
