I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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