so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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