Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
