ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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