Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
