I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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