woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
